Confessions of a Copywriter: Cringe Websites, AI Interns & What Actually Works

Let’s face it — we’ve all had a website or bio that made us wince. Rachel Allen, a veteran marketing strategist and fractional CMO, is here to fix that. With over 16 years of experience turning messy messaging into sharp strategy, Rachel joins Nicholas Kuhne for a no-BS conversation about copy that actually sells.

In this episode of From Startup to Wunderbrand, they unpack the reality of brand voice, the hype (and limits) of AI tools, and why your mates in private group chats might be the reason no one’s buying.

From $3.25 to Global Strategy

Rachel’s journey began with a $3.25 gig in a Hong Kong content mill during the 2008 recession. With a background in journalism and Asian studies, she pivoted into copywriting out of necessity — and stayed for the psychology and strategy. Now, she works with everyone from skincare e-commerce brands to consultants who only need four clients a year.

Her motto? "I make words make money."

Why Your Website Is Failing (And Why You're Too Embarrassed to Fix It)

Rachel’s popular Summer Copy Offer addresses a surprisingly common issue: business owners who cringe at their own websites. Whether it’s outdated copy, badly written bios, or tone-deaf pages slapped together by a freelancer, the result is always the same — they stop sending people to their site.

She tackles their top 3 core pages (Home, About, Services), rewrites them, and delivers a personalised implementation plan. The result? No more cringe. Real conversions.

Can AI Replace a Copywriter?

Not really. Rachel likens AI to a marketing intern: useful for first drafts and ideation, but don’t let it near the final product without serious editing. Tools like ChatGPT are great thinking partners, but they often regurgitate buzzwords like "empowering", "visionary", and "transparent" — which real humans see through instantly.

"You need to manage AI like a human intern. It’ll give you a base, but then you have to fix it and make it sound like a person."

Engagement Is Broken — Here's Why

Rachel calls out "vanity metrics" as the red herrings of marketing. If it can be gamed by an algorithm tweak, it's not worth obsessing over. Instead, measure engagement by meaningful actions — private shares, comments, DMs, or someone forwarding your Substack.

She breaks it down:

• Low-volume offer? Aim for 3x the number of ideal clients.

• High-volume? Go for 10x views-to-sales as a baseline.

And the brutal truth? Sometimes, your friends in group chats are saying don’t buy from you. Ouch.

Tone of Voice: Your Brand’s Secret Weapon

Whether you're a solo consultant or scaling with a VA, your brand’s tone needs to stay consistent. Rachel warns that even the best assistants will butcher tone unless it’s clearly defined and codified.

"You'd never say 'LOL bestie' in a proposal — but someone on your team might unless you tell them not to."

Document your do’s and don’ts. Define what words you use (and avoid). Parallel handovers and brand tone guides are essential.

Workshops That Hit Different

Rachel’s workshops are deceptively simple — and wildly effective. Her breakout hit, How to Write a Bio Without Sounding Braggy, Boring, or Like You Have Bad Boundaries, walks attendees through a playful yet powerful framework using Legos, Dinos, and Leaves.

She also offers:

• Positioning Workshops

• How to Pitch (for people who hate pitching)

• Email Copy Clinics

Real Copy. Real Connection. Real Results.

Whether you're drowning in "empowering" jargon or just trying to write a bio that doesn’t sound like a prom rejection, Rachel Allen offers the clarity you didn’t know you needed.

Listen to the full episode:

🎧 From Startup to Wunderbrand – Hosted by Nicholas Kuhne🎙️ Guest: Rachel Allen,

Connect with Rachel:

• Website: boltfromthebluecopywriting.com

• Substack: 2x/month newsletter with templates & teach pieces

• Email: hello@boltfromthebluecopywriting.com